I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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