But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
