my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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