grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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