well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
