Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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