yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
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Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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