at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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