I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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