Drunk walkin through police station. America
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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