It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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