Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
