I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he had hair everywhere except his balls
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
