I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
