Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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