I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
