you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize