Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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