Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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