I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
