do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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