the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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