I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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