I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
