I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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