Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
