the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hello my rib-scented angel!