I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?