She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
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He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.