My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?