Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?