she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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