Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
