I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
