Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
