WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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