Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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