Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
