She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you š
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Some sorority went āDick or Treatingā at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
