Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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