Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize