apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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