i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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