I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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