I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
