I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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