I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
