I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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