The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
