I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
