summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i think i have herpe
just one?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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