What a fucking waste of an outfit
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Randomize
