.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize