They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
