I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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