So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
