I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
