Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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