I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
honey bunches of taint.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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