fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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