hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she smelled like a LAN party
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
