i jhust puked up my retainher.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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