you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
