I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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