I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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