YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
