i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
3 2 1 whiskey
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
