I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I believe in your delicious
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
