I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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